I’ll never be good enough, will I?
Excessive demands around every turn,
Lies that we all tell
But noone believes.
I’ll never live up to the bar, will I?
The one I set so very high
All starry eyed,
Looking for that hint of perfection.
I’ll never be perfect, will I?
The way you thought I should be,
The way I should look, or behave, or think
But I don’t.
I’ll never be that girl, will I?
The one with her life together,
Making strategic moves to get ahead,
Even at the cost of others.
I’ll never be so lifeless, will I?
That when all is said and done,
You’ve lost the me that I’d always bee,
That I always wanted to be.
I’ll never be far away, will I?
Just below the surface of the one
Who was forcefed all the bullshit excuses
About why I could never fit in.
I’ll never be the winner, will I?
Making my way across a size zero, plastic stage
With crimson grimaces in place of
I’ll never be a work of art, will I?
The pristine capture of a timeless tragedy,
Wraught in crisp jackets and perfect makeup
Like a mannequin.
I’ll never be like them, will I?
The ones who think that the only thing that matters
Is the size and color of the skin I wear
Like a toy in a skeeball game.
I’ll never actually care about those things, will I?
I’d neer forgive myself for being a carbon copy
Of the unnecessary lies told by everyone else
When all the world ever needed was someone who told the truth.
But that’s never been my strong point.
So maybe you were wrong.
And the truth was something you murdered a long time ago.
I never gave up.
You gave up listening, seeing, believing in the truth.
You gave up unconditional love for the immitation.
You gave up looking at the heart inside, didn’t you?
But don’t worry, so did they.
And when they buried me in artificial waste,
They didn’t know:
I was a seed.