This blog is one that I wish I did not have to write. Honestly. And it hurts me that there even has to be a discussion about it. I came across this article, which I have linked for you below, only a few hours after it was posted. I spent the moments immedately after reading it pacing and trying to make sure I didn’t vomit all over the carpet. Tears stung my eyes, frustration clawed at my heart and I reached out to a friend. I vented and raved about how I was devoting my entire life to a system so broken that I might as well have been born 80 years ago and asked to go to college.
The Guardian Article
She responded with compassion and understanding, having often mirrored my own horror and concern with the climate of our nation. And then I placed the most startlingly real truth I ever could on a screen.
The statistic for college aged (my aged) women and sexual assault is 1 in 5. Keep that in mind.
I said: If I look at the four women I come in contact with most-who are also college aged, whom I know well enough to know their stories- statistically speaking, there should be one of us who has been assaulted. But of this group of five, three have been assaulted. The cursor blinked angrily at me as I stopped and read over those words again and again. Even after I had already sent the message to my friend, I stared at it.
We believe the statistics because they make us feel confident that we know what’s going on in the world. We choose to believe that if we surround ourselves with enough people, the one in danger won’t be us. And yet, what we believe is a lie. The most terrifying lie I think we could believe. Because we want it to be true. We want to believe that we are safe, that human beings don’t have the capacity to be awful people and that awful people would never come in contact with us-because we make good choices. But that’s not quite true at all.
I look back at that article and my heart weeps. I’ve located some agencies who train people as volunteers for sexual assault cases and I’m looking at which ones might be the right fit for me. I know that I am one person. But so was that girl in the article. And she went to the system which has sworn to serve and protect her, she did everything that she was supposed to and her lawyer did their job as well. But in the end, the system failed her. And as a future lawyer, who one day will be in the same position as her lawyer, I can only hope that I am met with someone who understands that a beverage is not something which is beyond the realistic interpretation of the law. Because at the end of the day, no one asks to be assaulted. No one.
Three of five is far too many. One of five is far too many. No one deserves that fate.