Feeling A Moment

(The title is a song from 2005 by Feeder. It’s one of the ones I put on repeat when I need perspective. It’s a little different than what I normally listen to.)

This week has been on the harder side of hellacious for me.

There were some good things which occured, and need mentioned before I mope. First, I was approved for a fee waiver through the law school application process and that means I can take the LSAT again for free (which I’m going to take advantage of!) and I managed to make it to at least some classes this week (which is always good).

I had the flu (which I am still recovering from-darn congestion), the midterm-quiz I took this week seemed like a foreign language that I wasn’t familiar with (and I don’t anticipate doing very well por eso), our only vehicle lost some bolts in the exhaust system and had stuffs hanging about while we drove (so we had to get that fixed emergency style), there were two assaults on campus-places I know very well.

Now, to be clear, neither of the assaults happened to me, nor did they happen to people I even know. But what I know is that whenever something gets reported to campus police, we all get an email saying the nature of the crime, the time and the location. So I know that these assaults were in broad daylight, two different places, two different women, same perp.

I’ve been going around and around about my project. About how much it’s needed, what good it will do, how much good, those types of questions.

And it is weeks like this that make me understand that the fear I feel about taking on this project isn’t fear of responsibility, it’s fear of failure. I know that I can help out my campus (and more campuses!) and I know I can do it with dignity and empathy. I just can’t be afraid anymore. Because if I give it my best, there’s no way I can fail. There’s also no way I cannot make a difference.

Happy weekend everyone. Be safe, be well, be hopeful.

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