An LSAT Update

I took the LSAT (Law School Admission Test) one week ago tomorrow. And you know, for all my thoughts on the matter, it was an entirely different experience than I think I prepared for. I know you all are super excited to hear about this experience, so I will tell you all about the Week AFTER the LSAT.

Saturday (last): I woke up early, double checked my bag, made sure I had everything that I was pretty sure I would need, refrained from grabbing 7 more pencils (just in case) and headed to the test. My husband dropped me off and said he would be a building down from me, until I was all done. I ate a grand total of 6 walnuts during my break, as well as my bottle of water. I walked away from the test a grand total of 5.5 hours later and I didn’t feel too shabby. Honestly, the only thing bad about that test was the endurance needed to finish it. I didn’t understand why everyone online complained about how awful it was. I left the school around 2, made my way home after getting dinner (I was REALLY hungry) and then sat on my bed, drank my glass of celebratory wine (red for the antioxidants) and played some solitaire. By 6, I was droopy eyed and almost asleep. Adrenaline crash, I supposed.

Sunday: I sluggishly woke up, surprisingly exhausted from the day before. But I managed to be up by 10, and then left my house with a friend to go to the mall and see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. That subject will be an entirely other blog, but long story short, I LOVED it. Anyway, we spent 2 hours just shopping and then we watched the movie and I came back home, milled around a bit, made some dinner and then fell asleep rather early once more.

Monday: Normalcy returns. My husband and I awaken before the sun, take the dog out and then head to school/work. My body feels like it’s preparing for the flu. I feel sluggish, drained and entirely lethargic. I can’t possibly imagine why that is (sarcasm) and I wish there were an 8th day of the week.

Tuesday: the break day. I honestly don’t even remember what happened on Tuesday. I know I didn’t get as much sleep as I wanted and can only assume that I spent it doing the obnoxious amount of backlogged homework from the week before. I think maybe I ate something. I assume I did.

Wednesday: back to the grind, again. This time took incredible effort to get out of bed. It was chilly, it was snowy and it screamed “go back to sleep!” I remember going to work, having done something productive and taking notes in lecture. Thankfully, those notes are legible.

Thursday: I was supposed to have another break day, but the IRS seemed intent on taking it away. That’s right, my husband and I did our taxes. I made our appointment for noon. We arrived at 11:40. They offered coffee, I took some. Neither of us had eaten yet, and we decided to grab lunch after our taxes were done. TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER we walked out of the tax office deliriously hungry, grumpy and tired. Seriously, I felt more confused than I did going in. And let me just say that sometimes, tax codes are stupid. I feel that there needs to be a much simpler way. And they charge by the hour to do taxes, so imagine my surprise when the bill was mentioned. Never again, I thought. I would rather do everything myself! Good grief. But we survived, and I mean, I guess I’m happy it’s over at least. Now to make the corrections to my FAFSA. But not today, we’ll save it for another day. At 8, I finally felt mentally recovered enough to work on more homework. 

Today: I find myself filled with anxiety and dread and concern over theses scores. I do not even get scores until March and I am already seeing negative impacts. My sleeping has been thrown out of normalcy, because my thoughts are completely on the LSAT and my future. My body is incredibly angry that there is a growing sleep debt that must be paid. I’m not sure I have regular eating habits any more. And honestly, I just want to know. I do not care if the scores were bad or good. I just want to know so that I can go about my life planning my future and worrying about other things, like homework, student loans and the political crises of the world. Is that too much to ask?

So, in short, I understand why all the “I took the LSAT and here’s what I have to say” websites suggest finding a bar after taking it. It could be because sometimes the test runs 7 hours long. It could be that sometimes youjust don’t feel prepared. But I think the most likely reason of all, may have been that the week after testing is honestly harder to recover from than actually preparing for the test in the first place.

And yes, I will be going to see PPZ again this weekend (at least 2 more times!).

‘Twas The Week of the LSAT

Ever since I decided I wanted to be a diplomat, I have been researching the job, deciding how best to fulfill my dreams and really just trying to find out if that really was the best decision for me. Ultimately I decided it was, that I needed to go to law school..

Stop.

Law. School. Admission. Test.

 
 Four of the scariest words in my life. And you all think I’m joking. But on the review websites for the GRE and the MCAT (Grad School and Med School respectively) there are the people who say things like “Honestly, it’s hard, but f you just take some practice tests, you’ll be fine.” The LSAT reviews? They ALL say things like “If you don’t study every day for 7 hours, at least 9 months in advance, you’re doomed.”

Okay, so maybe I’m getting a little carried away. Or maybe not. But here’s my thoughts on the subject.

I’m not a simpleton. I know I can and will succeed. I know that there are people who took the test before me, and will take it after me and life will go on. The only difference is, I will be going to law school. (I know that for sure, I just need the scores to tell me which one haha).And I’m going to make something of myself. In 4 years from now, I will be a lawyer! But not just that, I will have taken the FSOT (Foreign Service Operative Test) and be *hopefully* on my way to being a diplomat. In this I am very confident. But I just feel like this entire week has been a mental game that has gone on for far too long.

  
It all started Saturday, one week from test day. I knew I had 7 days to prepare myself, to give myself the best chance I could. I became nervous. Like, pit of the stomach cranky nervous.

Sunday, the panic set in. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and I began grinding my teeth at night. This is something I haven’t done since my senior year in high school when I had to decide where I would go for college. See the connection?

Monday, my jaw hurt from the grinding, but I felt like I was starving. I couldn’t find it in me to get enough caffeine. This was my first tip off that I was more stressed than I let on. Me and not wanting caffeine is NOT normal behavior. Clearly.

Tuesday, I drank more caffeine than the last three days combined. (Back to normal?) My jaw quit hurting and I scurried to do all my homework for the week. I rarely do homework marathons, but I needed to get everything done. ASAP.

Today, I woke up late, got to work late and grabbed a tumbler of cold, left-over-from-yesterday coffee before starting my day. I think I’m just about crazy. In the first hour of my day, I had more accidents, more uh-ohs and more “oh crap”s than I have probably all week semester. I will get home and inevitably either not be able to sleep, of fall asleep for 500000000 hours. (I know, that’s the one I’m assuming too.)

Tomorrow: I begin practice scenario day 1. I have taken practice tests before, but this day will be timed and punctual, as if I were actually taking the test. It’s going to be me against the exam, and I really have to try hard.

Friday: Simulation day 2. I cleared it with my boss, I won’t be coming in and I will instead be doing more practice tests, same as Thursday. But I assume there will be more panic for this one. And just like a child on Christmas Eve, I won’t be able to sleep, I’ll be up all night and then when I do fall asleep, I will wake up with a terrible stomach ache and find out I only slept for two hours before needing to leave. Which brings us to:

Saturday: Game day. Let the all out screaming, panic induced brain games begin! I will inevitably grab a large coffee, need to pee before my test, get anxious, start pacing, get the notice to take my seat and then I will be in total concentration mode. I love that part of me. I can stress out about a situation for weeks and then get to that moment and everything will just go away and I will be able to complete my task with the utmost efficiency and calm. Works like a charm every time.

Sunday: As a reward, I will be going on a friend date to see Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Because Jane Austen is the best, and I’m just a big sucker for the undead. I literally cannot wait for this. It is my secondary source of hope. 
Now that you all have my week’s planner, let me tell you about this big scary monster test.

First, I had to go get a passport photo. And if you’ve ever taken one yourself, it is the most stressful thing on the planet. The lighting has to be just perfect, no glare, perfect exposure. So I did that, ordered it online and then my order was delayed. I went to the store and found out their printer was making excess lines in the photos so I was going to have to wait. I did and got the photos about an hour later, but I had nothing short of a breakdown first. While I was at the store, I had to pick up wooden pencils, because mechanical ones aren’t allowed. I also picked up some really nice erasers, because reasons. And I can have a water bottle and some snacks, but everything I own has to be in a gallon ziplock. I can’t have anything electronic on my person, so I can only carry my keys, wallet, pencils, erasers, pencil sharpener, my admission ticket and my water and snack. That list makes me feel naked as a person. I rarely go anywhere without my phone, even if it’s just in my pocket and I don’t use it. Also, I’ve used mechanical pencils or years. Wooden ones are not my specialty. But I guess it’s alright, because I will be going to law school where I’m pretty sure they’re okay with me carrying mechanical pencils, pens and my phone.

Anyway, I guess I’m going to be away from social media for the next couple days and that’s my story. I’ll see you all on the other side of the weekend!