All Eyes on Me

I was watching the debate last night (are you really that surprised?) and I noticed a very horrifying trend. I have watched almost all of the debates (I think I missed an early democrat one) and I have never been more appalled at the display I have witnessed this past week. I knew debates were a sheer and utter debacle, having witnessed 3 that I clearly remember. I wasn’t always aware of what the issues were (the first one I remember: I was 12) but I remember the ads and the ways that the candidates used low-ball tricks and schemes. I was a senior in high school during the campaign season for President Obama’s second term and although I had taken government, I was still only vaguely aware of “what it all meant” but again, I remember the attack ads and smear campaigns. So why was I so surprised this week?

I have decided that I will throw in a candidate from both parties who exemplify my concern for the direction of this election. Nominees for Ring Leader of the Circus of Politics are: Donald Trump (R) and Bernie Sanders (D). Now, I do not know these men, apart from what I can watch in the debates, but the issue I have with them this week is the wording that they chose to use during their discussions. I’ll start with Mr. Trump, because I have a feeling that will be a much shorter rant.

“I guarantee you, there’s no problem.” By now, I’m sure you all have seen memes or the debate itself where Mr. Trump inadvertently mentions his genetalia. Why is that an issue? Because he could be representing our country (or at the very least, for some of my readers, a country which affects yours) and he’s making penis jokes? At a presidential debate? On live TV? Without taking a hit in his numbers? In fact, his numbers literally just keep going up, apparently. Literally anything that comes out of his mouth is like a voter magnet. And that’s concerning on so many levels. I can only hope that if he in fact does become POTUS, that he will tone down his language and will be a morally upstanding citizen. Until then, I will continue to be horrified at the level of bigotry and racism and sheer ignorance spewing from that whole campaign.

Now on to Mr. Sanders. While I have not held many strong opinions about the democratic side, I must say, there were comments made last night that frustrated me to no end. And that’s the reason I decided to post this post today. It started out with Mr. Sanders throwing around the words “crazy” and “lunatic” as though they were common vernacular (and you could argue that they are) but the quote of the night that I bring forth is this:

“We are, if elected president, going to invest a lot of money into mental health. And when you watch these Republican debates, you know why we need to address the mental health.”

What. The. Heck. People give Donald Trump a lot of grief (and rightly so) for mocking an individual with a physical disability. But I just googled the quote (for accuracy’s sake) and people are laughing about it. People are making light of it. Are you kidding me?! Call me a little touchy on the subject, but since when did mental health become a laughing matter? And I plan on being a part of the government (judicial branch, mind you) some day, and I take great pride in being able-bodied with a beautifully divergent mind. In fact, that may be my tag line for election. If there were candidates with mental illnesses, can you imagine the uproar? How offensive that is? Because I can. I’m an individual who will be very affected by the changes in president and I am offended. I will not be taking any obnoxious steps to fix it (I’m not going to sue you, Mr. Sanders) but here’s what I will do. I will post a letter, detailing what it is that makes that quote so awful. I will post it here, and I will hope that maybe it reaches those who will understand my words to be true. And maybe then there will be some progress. Because one man’s ignorance is more than enough for me, but two men’s ignorance is something altogether too much.

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Sometimes

Sometimes song lyrics are all you have. As a child, I was deeply enthralled in Madeline L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time. And one of the characters used only quotes, because she found an inability within herself to find the right words for her thoughts. That happened to me just a little as a child, but it happens ALL THE TIME as an adult. I struggle for the right words with caution, I try to find what I want to say in as few words as possible. But clearly, I am a writer and words are my friends.

So what am I going to blog about today? I’m gearing up for a super women’s rights post, so today I will take a page from Madeline and just use quotes. These quotes are from all manner of time and space, have meant something to me, have moved me, shaped me or forced me to think and I think it’s fair to say that they are part of who I am. I’ll keep the song lyrics at the bottom!

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. -Frederick Douglass

Hope” is the thing with feathers/ That perches in the soul/ And sings the tune without the words/ And never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson

But I have promises to keep/ And miles to go before I sleep. -Robert Frost

There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me. -Jane Austen

Your heart is bruised, my dear, not broken. The soul is a compass; you will find your way back. -K.A. Scott

All that is gold does not glitter/ Not all those who wander are lost/ The old that is strong does not wither/ Deep roots are not reached by the frost. -J.R.R. Tolkien

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. -Mahatma Gandhi

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea. -Isak Dinesen

————-SONG LYRICS—————

And I’ve tried/ But trying doesn’t always get me there/ and I’m fine/ Even when the way it’s going isn’t fair/ Halfway between somewhere and nothing/ Woke up and I’m twenty something. -Graham Norton

And now I’m itching for the tall grass/ I’m longing for the breeze/ I need to step outside just to see if I can breathe/ Gotta find a way out/ Maybe there’s a way out. -Boys Like Girls (this is my favorite song)

This world will never be/ What I expected/ And if there’s something wrong/ Who would’ve guessed it? -Three Days Grace

I said yep, what a concept/ I could use a little fuel myself/ And we could all use a little change. -Smash Mouth

—————————————-

I decided to end it there, but this may be a multi-part blog. I mean, I have TONS more quotes and I can guarantee there will be days I need to break away from my thoughts. This has been fun!

Thankfulness, Day 9

  
I first read The Fellowship of the Ring when I was in middle school. I was captivated by the story, even if it was just a smidge over my head. But this particular portion of thebook was lost to me completely. It wasn’t until the movie came out and the internet boomed that I even recalled ther was a poem. This is the most widely recalled line, and for good reason.

Today’s theme is aimlessness.

A few years ago, I did a facebook post on this very day about being thankful for being aimless. And I found it today, believing that I had been a genious. You see, in the end, it isn’t really the destination, is it? It’s always been about the journey. But so many footsteps are solidifying for me that I am enthralled by my own wanderings.

I started college Autumn 2011. I had to immediately withdraw (within the first week) because I listened to my peers and drank far too many energy drinks and my kidneys couldn’t handle it. I was in the ER multiple times, my PCP (Personal Care Physician) too and it was determined that my energy drink habits were killing me. Before that fall, I’d spent my summers drinking Monster BFCs (Big Effing Cans-the equivalent of 4 Monsters in one can) and Rockstars and Venoms (these were my favorite). I was always seen with one in my hand. Now it’s coffee and the occasional soda for me, marginalized by gallons of water.

I didn’t return to college (or technically even start college) until Winter 2012. We were still on quarters then. I was a bio major, determined to be a pediatric oncologist. My entire life was dedicated to this. Only my heart didn’t seem to be. For two years, I fought with deciding if I was doing the right thing with my life. Ultimately, I wasn’t. I had the heart for the job, the brains too, but it wasn’t what I longed for. And so I became an anthro major.

Even then my wandering (and wondering) was not over. What kind of anthropologist would I be? I couldn’t decide, wanted to do everything and ultimately picked cultural. But that isn’t to say I haven’t had a couple moments where physical sounded like a much smarter idea. Even this left some questions.

What would I focus on? People was far too broad a focus, culture wouldn’t work either. Religion. Now that could work. But what about it? Eventually, I landed on something both practical and interesting. Religious Extremism and Violence as a Diplomatic Interference. Now that sounds snappy, doesn’t it? I only really settled into that idea. Now comes the new wave of questions about jobs and such.

But as I said: it’s really all about the journey, anyway, isn’t it? Sometimes the lights have to go out, the path needs to disappear before we can find ourselves. There isn’t really a way to make it easier, or less scary. You just have to take the plunge. Interesting.