My Statement of Purpose

I said I’d let you all read my law school application’s statement of purpose once I’d sent it out and heard back from the schools. And that is true-mostly. As I write today, I have only heard from half of them, but I’ve got one no and one yes! No matter what, I’m off to law school in the fall. So I am here to provide you with my very own, one of a kind, successful SOP. I modified it for different schools by clarifying the programs and whatnot, but this is the one I got in on.

powerful-statement-of-purpose

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I’m an individual with opinions, aspirations and flaws, for which I offer no apology. Of the facets of my personality, fandom presents a unique outlet conducive to my lifestyle choices. What began as casual consumption of fictional realms and revolutionary ideas rapidly refocused into philosophical pondering over gender norms and fan theory. I am determined to spend my life as a crossover between Les Misérables, Supernatural and Daredevil.

Our country was set up with the ideals of justice and freedom at the core. I believe that to be true not just for the majorities, but for each of the minorities as well. I helped organize protests against the Dakota Access Pipeline in Columbus, Ohio because I see the actions of that company to be against the values of equality. Sacred and treaty lands are not something that should be impacted just because of business. I also have been quite vocal about justice for rape and sexual assault victims, engaging with others through petitions to government and protests against unjust rulings. Just as Enjolras in Les Misérables, I do not intend to remain silent at the injustices I see, especially when I have the capacity to enact change. I refuse to be silenced, my passion will only be raised.

Building lasting connections with people is not only how the human species has remained a persistent force on our planet, it’s how we find meaning in our work. I have a network of support at The Ohio State University which I find invaluable, who have aided me in narrowing the scope of projects, degrees and law schools to pursue my muses. These connections are vital in my work as a social justice writer, both in my blog, where the focus is on sexual assault survivor advocacy, and on my work through The Mighty, where I contribute writings about mental health and suicide. I started writing about these issues both out of personal experience, but also because of my growing appreciation of Supernatural. The show in and of itself is an extensive metaphor for mental illness, sexual assault and many other harrowing issues under the guise of demons and monsters. I know how important it is to always keep fighting for the greater good, and helping other people along in that journey. Dean Winchester, a main character, was saved from death with the understanding that he had work to do. So too, do I feel strongly convicted about my purpose in life.

Of all of the Marvel superheroes, Daredevil was my favorite male character-well before I knew I wanted to go to law school. Matt Murdock engaged his clients with a dedicated compassion, and not only did he stay dedicated to the need for law and order, the same level of tenacity he showed in his studies before his accident, he continued to maintain after he was blinded. In a proposal I gave to The Ohio State University, I chose to take a stand for victims of sexual assault by educating students about risks, but also by providing gender inclusive actions post-trauma. Instead of furthering the victim-blaming rape culture, I provided a course of action which refocused the blame onto the attackers and sought help for the victims. I will carry this project and it’s ideals with me to law school, where I will continue to work with administrators and educators to ensure a safer future for all people-regardless of demographic.

I take pride in being a well-rounded, open minded millennial member of several minorities. I voted in an election where there were two female candidates for President of the United States of America-something that just a hundred years ago would have been inconceivable. I spend my spare time officiating and planning weddings, amongst which I count the marriage of my brother to my new sister-in-law. I market myself as completely inclusive in thought, offering my services not only to the traditional couples but to anyone who wants to engage in a union with someone they love. I use my title to promote equality and unity, because that is something I believe is going to be an asset in the future of the world. Building on my ministerial duties and privileges, I am attending conferences about how to enter politics-something I had not even considered until I educated myself on the policies I voted for in the general election.

I’m going to use my law degree to become a district attorney. In my research of sexual assault, the numbers are overwhelmingly clear that the two demographics which need attention most are LGBT individuals and Native American women. The path to ending rape culture, for me, means that I graduate from law school with experience in criminal prosecution and social inequality, practice as a prosecuting attorney while I build my rapport with the people in the community and then further my reach as district attorney. In order to do this, I simply have to be myself and continue building on the foundation I laid in undergrad.

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So, class of 2020-here I come! And when I cross that stage to pick up my diploma, you can bet I’ve already got plans. Happy weekend everyone!

It’s been a long day.

I’ve spent the last few weeks being less active on social media and more active in the political realm. I’ve learned a lot, been frustrated a bit and gained some clarity. Words are such powerful tools. We use them, we don’t think about it. And you know, that seems awfully silly coming from me. I sit on my pedestal and preach the power in intention and am blown away by the way language is used to convey meaning.

But I want to focus on something that happened in my personal life a week or so ago. Because I’ve been reflecting on it so much.

As a kid, I wasn’t super close with my parents. I loved them, to be sure, as all children do. But I don’t think I appreciated them as much as I do now-which is very typical I think. Anyway, since reaching this weird age, I’ve grown to be more appreciative.

Anyway, cut to last week when I had a break down in front of my dad. How mortifying. I told him that I was struggling, and that I didn’t understand why everything seemed so hard. I told him that I saw how hard he worked and how I thought I was making all the right decisions and still things weren’t working out. And he said to me

You can do all the right things for all the right reasons and things still might not work out. It doesn’t mean you failed, it means you’re not done yet.

As I said, I’ve reflected on that every day. I wrote it down in my bullet journal because it was something I needed to hear.

I get so wrapped up in things that I don’t always see the big picture that I’m wrapped up in. It’s the forest for the trees scenario. I want so much to for things to be balanced. Each time I try to look at the big picture, I ask for just one thing. Not for my life to turn out the way I want, with no worries and no troubles. But for balance. You see, somewhere along the way I decided that for each bad thing that happened, there would be a good thing to counteract it.

So for example, saving money and being responsible instead of partying and splurging should mean that I have money to cover all the bills without being stressed out.

But that’s not how it works. And often times it doesn’t account for emergency situations. And I think that’s why I needed to hear the message above. I’m just not done yet. I have to keep going. And believe me, it’s not something I think about with glee. I’m worn out. I’m exhausted. I want things to be okay.

But I’m not done yet. And that’s okay. I’ve just got to keep fighting and everything will work out.

I suppose this blog today is for my own benefit more than anything else. I know that life is hard. And I know that sometimes you just need a break that you can’t have and that more than anything it’s all about endurance. Taking a moment to make sure you’re okay before you keep pushing forward is important and I know I need to hear that. I’m a give-until-there’s-nothing-left kinda person. I get used up and then I don’t know what to do. So it’s time for me to unlearn that and figure out how to make my own balance.

Updated Thoughts

buffering

I was able to pick a final project for my social work class that I am beyond excited to do. I am writing a bill of rights for sex trafficked individuals, akin to the one which was introduced for sexual assault survivors. My bill will be able to be sent in (which I intend to do) to government and hopefully become a bill. Now, I know there is a lot of work to be done between now and then, but I am incredibly excited to work on it. I’ll be using this as a stepping stone for my IMADTTO project’s continuation.

On a similar side note, there’s still no word out from the law schools I applied to. The earliest I could hear from someone is February 28-which is just about three weeks away. Trust and believe, I am counting down the days and I check every day to see if there is an update. I’ve got so many balls in the air metaphorically that I know one of them has to be a keeper. So I wait. I’m not saying I’m patiently waiting, but I’m waiting.

I applied for a scholarship program with one of the schools I applied to that could give me full tuition in scholarships. I have never (and I mean never) hoped I get something more in my life. This would be a complete game changer and is something I am very hopeful about. I’ve also applied to a few opportunities which are similar, and I’m very hopeful for those as well. It will directly determine where I am going to law school.

I’m working with my department at work to host a drive for the homeless shelter at my school (Star House), so I’m pretty excited about that. If you’re interested in learning more about it, you can do so here. We’re going to be collecting very necessary items to keep the house running and I won’t lie-it feels great to be able to do some good in the world. It keeps me going.

I am also working on two novels. One of them is well on its way, and emotionally wrecking so I have to take it in slow paces. The other is an epistolary (letter based) novel which is thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. I enjoy them dearly and I will let y’all know when I’m closer to making important headway.

On a final note for the day, support each other. Help others out. Be kind-not only to others, but to yourself. You matter. You do.

Helpless? Hopeless? Hapless?

It is time, good people, for a rant. The source of this rant is?

The oppression of the poor, through the lenses of college students.

It’s something I know quite a bit about, and I think more people are going to need to get an idea soon-especially with the political situation.

There’s a food bank set up for the students at my university.

Each semester, I spend about $300 on textbooks as a social science student. My husband spends $400-$600. And there’s some math coming up, but no worries, I’ll help. I have insurance through my dad, but let’s assume it’s negligent here-because I have to pay more out of pocket than they cover. I have student loans (gasp!). And we’re going to get personal about that too. I work at the university, with work study money. That means I can work UP TO 20 hours a week-so long as my total amount of work study money is more than I have worked. I get $3000 a year, which equals roughly 9 hours a week available. I typically work throughout the summer at whatever job will hire me, but obviously it’s part time.

A little word though, before we begin. I cannot speak for everybody. These experiences are my own. I know that some people will take a different path here-and that’s OKAY. I just want you to get a rough idea of how a midwestern student with decent grades faces the realities of the financial aid system. I’m doing this in response to Betsy DeVos, and her unawareness at how it works. I’m going to break different areas up by header and then wrap it all up in a summary-I find that to be a little more helpful than just assaulting you with information.

Books

I started college officially January 2012. That was back when OSU was on quarters (meaning 3 regular sessions per year) and now we’re on semesters (meaning 2 regular sessions a year). That means I’ve had 12 sessions (I believe). Each of those sessions, as I mentioned, I pay roughly $300 in books. 300*12=$3600 in books. For my husband, it’s 500*12=$6000 (I just took the average cost. So together, we have paid almost $10,000 in books (and yes, we shop around for deals). PLUS-you have to pay for online access codes to your homework. Per course, that’s $60-$130.

To give you an idea of what the problem with that is, I have a recent event for you. We (Ben and I) were looking to make a little money to cover some purchases for the apartment. The only thing we have in large quantities are books. So we packaged up everything we had. This includes text books, books I picked up at the bookstore for pleasure reading, books we had from forever. Everything we could (minus the ones we need for this semester) was loaded into boxes. I looked at what Amazon would give me and then we hauled everything down to Half Price Books. Let me emphasize this. We took something like $8500 of merchandise to a resale place. And what do you think we got in payment?

$230. (And yes, that’s about what Amazon wanted to pay us.)

For the readers who are blown away by this, 230 dollars is approximately 2.7% of 8500. And that’s the most we could get. So we took it and made do-because what else are we gonna do?

Student Loan Payments

Ah student loans. The bane of so many people’s existence. I have 2 kinds: Sallie Mae and Federal. My Sallie Mae payment will be $670 a month and my federal will be $455 a month (according to http://www.aie.org-I’ll let you know what they really are when I start making the payments after law school). And that brings up a good point-these numbers are ONLY for my undergraduate degree, under the assumption that it will take me 10 years to pay everything off. So I will need to put aside almost $1200 per month just for student loan payments. Yikes!

Acceptance fees/loans for law school

Wherever I end up going to law school, I will need to pay a seat deposit (acceptance fee) of at least $250. That’s something I have planned for, and am well aware of. But when I enter law school, I will also have to pay money to take out my loans, and campus fees on top of my tuition. I also am aware of that. But it does not chance the fact that I will have to pay my own way to move to law school and then pay them to allow me to pay them (yes, you read that right) so I can go there. One of my schools has a fee of $910.

And since we’re talking about law school-let me fill you in on the application process. In order to apply for law school, you have to take the LSAT. It costs $17 per time you take it. And then, you have to order your college transcripts ($20). You also have to purchase the system they use to compile your application ($180). Then you have to pay for them to assemble your application per school ($30) and you have to pay an application fee per school ($30-$110). And this is true if you apply to one school or a hundred. I applied for the fee waiver (thankfully) so my costs were slightly different. But none of this includes test prep, which can be very expensive very fast.

working

As I said, I work part time. I use the money to add to my very small reserve of uh-oh money. I can make up to $1500 a semester. And that’s grand-my job is awesome, I enjoy it a lot. It’s just not a bunch of money. So there’s that. And yes, I am fully capable of getting a job. But I don’t live on campus and my husband has class 5 days a week, and we have a dog at home. So I could, yes, work over the weekend-this is true. But none of this accounts for homework time. As I mentioned above, I totally work during summer. That’s a no brainer. This summer will be tricky becuase of moving to law school, but we’ll see.

Oh-and I’m not allowed to work the first year of law school. It’s a law school thing.

apartment

My apartment is what it is. I pay gobs of money to live in a place where crime is low. I pay for safety and I know that. What I also pay for is a private electric company that charges me way too much for electric ($200 a month) and a door that sticks, gaps in the door that let cold air in, leaky outlets and a fridge that doesn’t stay closed. Also, they sent out an email saying that they wouldn’t salt the parking areas until it got really bad becuase they “like to watch it accumulate”. 

health care/insurance

As I mentioned, I have health insurance through my dad. That is all thanks to the ACA. And I know that. If I am hardcore screwed, I have options. It may take everything I have to pay that money, but I have options-ish. For example, last fall I went to the urgent care because of an ear infection which burst my eardrum. I paid $200 after insurance for the visit and another $100 for the medication. If the ACA is taken away, so is my insurance. As of right now, I go to the doctor if I have nothing else I can do. Because my health is a luxury I cannot afford. I have not been to the gyno in 3 years. I have not gotten my booster shots. I have not been able to go to the dentist in a great many years. I had to pay out of pocket for my glasses ($300 for exam and frames).

conclusion: What poor actually looks like

So there’s been a lot of disjointed information that’s come at you today. Let me provide a little structure for you.

I’m a first gen college student. My parents are hardworking farmers/pressman. I didn’t have my education paid for by my family (apart from $1000 my dad saved up and I am so grateful for). I pay $25,539 per year for my education. I’ve been in school for 5 years. Do some multiplication-you’ll see why I’m concerned about student loans. My apartment situation is paid for (in part) by the loans my husband and I take out. What we can cover with summer work is obviously done that way to alleviate needing to take out more loans. I have a credit card that I use for emergencies only and pay it off as soon as I get it. This is where I put my health care expenses, if I have any. And trust me, I try not to. Bills are still going to be there when I graduate from law school. And the $1700 a month we pay for everything, in addition to the $2000 a month for both my and my husband’s student loans terrifies me. It really does.

Not being able to afford regular doctor’s visits because of money is something that weighs on your brain a little. It makes you feel a little less than human. Being forced to choose between access to your homework and fresh food does things to your brain, makes you feel unvalued.

So when I said there’s a food bank on campus that’s for students, are you really so surprised? Because it’s not just food that we need. It’s so much more than that.

And that is why I cannot stand by and accept that our country’s education might be left in the hands of someone who has never even interacted with the financial aid system. I’ve only hit the big points-and not even all of them. Because none of this included the daily struggles, the weighing of options, the constant demands of time management, social and academic obligations, extra curricular activities or other facets. But maybe you see the reason why so many people with college degrees feel a little jilted at the system that was supposed to help us.

I Will Fight

I’ve seen a lot of things these past few days, and I’m sure you have too. There was, of course, the Women’s March a couple days ago-which was wonderful. There was the emergency #NoDAPL protest last night. And there are more, I am sure. The thing is, this is just the beginning. 

I saw a post on Facebook about where people would migrate to if they were leaving our country. There were plenty of places-people who have met with lawyers, people who have researched and gotten their passports. I won’t lie. I have a place picked out that should we go the way of WWII Germany, I will take my husband and dog to and we will fight from abroad. That’s not deserting, that’s smart planning. I cannot fight from the grave. I would try, but a dead gal can only do so much.

But while we’re on the subject of fighting, I have a plan. I know-I’m just one millennial (gasp!) but there are millions more of me (and older generations) who understand what we have to lose. I invite you all to go look at Trump Tracker. This is a working list of all of the things he promised to do during his time in office. There are 189 things, all of which are divided into categories: First 100 Days, Culture, Economy, Environment, Government, Immigration, Indigenous (not Native American-it means citizens), Security, Health, World, Education. These 189 things are what he has promised to do, and as of his 5th day in office, he has achieved 3, is working on at least 2 and broken 2 ( Not tweeting and a gun provision on his first day.)

I am one person. I have biases, I have limitations, I have a small voice. But I also have care and compassion and a willingness to use that voice.

So here’s my plan (and no-these aren’t alternative facts. And no, it’s not just me saying words together. This is a definable plan.)

-I will actively promote the availability to clean water for all human beings. This includes admonishing companies who do not produce responsibly.

-I will be in contact with my representatives at all levels over issues that are injust and oppressive. I will also be in contact with them on less controversial issues-because I am a constituent and they represent me.

-I will remain active in the fight for equality. Intersectional equality.

-I will fight for, continue to fight for women’s reproductive health, and healthcare in general.

-I will carry on being a mental health advocate.

-I will carry on being a sexual assault/rape/domestic violence survivor advocate.

I am going to law school in the fall. I picked my schools based on the programs, the ratings, the clinics and the networking capabilities. As you all know, I am going to law school to focus on my last point. But my ability to affect change does not end there. I picked schools that had diverse populations-because I love that. I picked schools that had LGBT+ (SAGA) faculty and clubs and classes-because I will continue to be active in the communities I belong to. I picked schools that have a track record for being active against DJT-because I want to be fostered in an environment that gives me passion, not stifles my abilities. I made these choices because I know it is my destiny to fight. And you’d best believe that I am ready.

Who I am is not a surprise or a novel realization. I frequently talk about my identity-because it allows me to see my biases and the way I think about things. It influences me. And also because I need to know if I am potentially overlooking something because I am too close to an issue.

Some of you will remember my IMADTTO project. I spent hours and days and weeks slaving over that project, creating something I saw as a beautiful entry into the history of women, something that would help the world be a little safer. As you know, I was rejected. And I know now that I was too close to the project. It’s not something that will change-I will always be too close to it. But that doesn’t mean I cannot look at it objectively and now carry on the fight being more aware.  

So there’s me. I watched a video featuring Mark Ruffalo, in which he said “If you are feeling despair, you aren’t doing enough.” I happen to think that applies, to at least my own life action. 

So what about you? How do you feel? What are your plans?

Dear Melania Trump

You do not know me, but I know you. You are one of the women which millions now look to for a standard of living. They look to you with expectant eyes, watching each move you make. You hold a position which so many women will never hold as their own and with that privilege comes responsibilities. 

Your platform as First Lady, as you have said, is to deal with the issues of cyber bullying. I applaud you for this. Cyber bullying is something which is recent, but a pandemic nonetheless. I have some ideas which may help you in this endeavor, as someone who has been one the receiving end, but has also had friends who know what it is like.

Cyber bullying is an issue for teens across the country, and the world. It affects teens and young adults, girls more than boys and at nearly 1/3 people affected, is an urgent matter. But this also includes people of color and LGBT+ youth. I know that your husband’s cabinet would rather see to it that LGBT+ youth are not present in this-or any-discussion, but they are a vital part.

You see, as you became First Lady, you took on the responsibility to help the country you now serve. That means the whole country-whether they look like you or not, whether they love like you or not. I hope you understand the gravity of the power of the office you now hold.

The people of the country may be under the leadership of your husband, but ultimately our wellbeing lies with you.

Please, do not let us down.

Sincerely,

Michelle BB

The Revolution…..ary.

 

I had a post made up for yesterday, talking about the end of an era, the decline of the democracy and I didn’t post it. Why? Because if I let myself, I’m a very negative person. So, I’ve decided to focus on the positives-even today. Especially today.

Today ends some things, sure. That is a fact that is not removed just because I do not like it (take note, politicians!). Today is the beginning of something.

The revolution.

Now, just in case you were curious, here is the Google definition of the word.

“A revolution (from the Latin revolutio, “a turn around”) is a fundamental change in political power or organizational structures that takes place in a relatively short period of time when the population rises up in revolt against the current authorities.”

This is as good of a definition as any, I think. I’m not talking about the demagogue (a political leader who seeks support by appealing to popular desires and prejudices rather than by using rational argument.-Google) but “We the people”.

Instead of being doom and gloom, I’m plotting a course for action.

You see, everything I love about the world is on the verge of being overcome by everything that is bad. And not just the things that impact me, but the things that impact others. One of the lessons I heard as a child was “The world is too big to revolve around such a small person”. And that is true. But one raindrop raises the sea.

So for now, all I wanted to offer was encouragement.

I see you. You are valuable. You have worth. You are valid. You are irreplaceable. You have a purpose. You are necessary. You are not a mistake.

Love will overcome.

We will overcome.

I stand for the people. Liberty and justice for ALL.

~M